The Town With No Name :')

GAME REVIEW

I first came across this game when a friend of mine sent me the link of it from Youtube... and I literally was blown away at how this game even existed. I knew that I would never play this game, and i would never want to but what I was watching was thing of beauty at how horrific everything about it was. Anything that is so badly done in my opinion deserves a special place in my heart, and with that being said I've decided to share this magnificent gem of a game with the world via my blog. Enjoy :')

Overview

The basic premise of the game is this: You turn up in a rootin tootin wild west town for no other reason other that you can... though you'll find out exactly why if you watch it through until the end (now THAT'S a hook to keep watching). Your tasked with nothing else but to wander about this town that looks like its been made out of discarded shoe boxes aimlessly, vaguely interacting with the town's various deformed characters in some vain hope that you'll eventually get some sort of excitement or adventure out of this game. You wont.
You'll keep plodding along through this point-and-click excuse for a game more in awe of how bad it is, and laughing at that fact than at any point taking any of it seriously. I even think the producers were aware of how bad it was and at various points try to inject some sort of tongue in cheek humour into it... but most of it falls so badly short, or isn't relevant to anything that you will often find yourself paralysed by laughter for all the wrong reasons. 
Wandering about will then be suddenly cut short when you have to take part in a gun fight with one of the towns 5 billion apparent gun-slinger's, in a not-so tense test of your reactions as a cardboard cut-out darts about the screen trying to dodge your crap shooting.... though even if you miss it seems near impossible to care. You'll find the death scenes far more enjoyable anyway. There are a smattering of mini games in the Town With No Name, but they do nothing to improve the overall experience if nothing only get in the way of the hilarious characters that seem to be the only reason to keep playing/watching. if you manage to play this through to the end, you'll only wonder to ask yourself why, though the laughs you will get out of it make it worth the inevitable questions such a games existence seem to raise.

Gameplay

As a point and click adventure, that's exactly what you'll find yourself doing throughout your confusion with this game. The whole game is essentially one of those 'make your own ending' books, where clicking certain actions takes you on a different route than another... though this game still manages to confuse that amidst its randomness. Any action taken to interact with people or things, only seems to serve to show you where the next mis-timed joke is coming from... though it does inevitably shove you towards the games concluding story. If you could even call it that. 

The 'action' side of the game comes in the gun fights that seem to happen in between every other event, as your approached by a disembodied sheriffs hat informing you of the next person who wants to take a stormtrooper-like shot at you. Some of the decisions you'll find making just for the sake of seeing what happens as opposed to actually caring about the game progression... like stealing a horse for example, that's always good for a laugh. 

Story

A man with no name, steps off a train with no name into a town with no name, and hilarious misunderstandings occur. Also, events including having a bath so a prostitute will have sex with you for several months, catching a beer, watching Clint Eastwood smoke what can only be described as a tampon and shooting a child who calls you Shane can only be called the highlights, that lead to one of the games shock conclusions... yes.

Graphics

Errrrm..... ill let these screenshots answer that one

 

Lets just finish this up by saying, a LOT of MS Paint has been used, and even then not in a way that is remotely good... the only things that look remotely capable is where the artist has blatantly ripped off character's from westerns and the font from Back to The Future for reasons im still unaware of. 

Sound

Every thing heard in this game is an assault on the auditory senses, from the opening western tooting, the slam-dancing music that apparently greets you in every stable you walk into, to the voices... the voices of every inhabitant that gives you the impression that every culture from around the world has at some point moved here and inter bred with the locals... and even then its painfully obvious that its more likely than not just one guy attempting every stereotypical accent he can think of in some vain attempt at humour. And I still don't understand why sleeping with the prostitute is then represented by with what sounds like Marge Simpson singing a little ditty.

Conclusion

The best game you will never play. 

This is clearly what inspired Red Dead Redemption...

Clearly